Wondering If I should become a pioneer in the study of Che Guevara and political violence. Decisions.

The prospect of doctoral study is immensely appealing. The excitement of crafting a new idea, of analyzing, disputing, combatting the forces of knowledge. It's essentially a path towards a lifetime of liberal arts study. Is it relevant? Does it matter? Would I better serve the world as a cog in the machinery of society? I guess when you phrase it like that...

There's something artistic that I'm hoping to capture in this life. I'm not a manager, I create. Details are not beyond me, rather they excite me when the larger picture is strikingly clear. Only if it's striking, though.

I guess simple utilitarian effectiveness isn't what I'm after. I want to be effective, but I'd rather make something perfect--the perfect song, the perfect book, the perfect picture. Truth is the highest form, the loftiest pursuit. Truth is where we transcend our humanness.

When Whitney Houston sings "One Moment in Time," it's not particularly sophisticated or deep, not incredible for its provocation; it's perfect. When Biggie bounces out how "I just speak my peice, keep my peice, n***** wit the jesus peice, wit my peeps..." it's perfect. It's tight, it means something, it matters. When Faulkner's preacher takes the pulpit perfection is in the rafters.

Perfection is finite, tied down, paralyzed; perfection is the antithesis to what it means to be human. Humanity is the process, the struggle, the motion. Perfection is still.

Perfection is why people smoke. The moment overtakes them, the future, the concerns, nothing matters. That's why artists are often drugged out--or at least tend that way.

So will a ph.d get me that? Or will it plunge me into a morass of semantic minutia?